Janusz - Day Twenty Three

2 more days to finish the process. 2 more days before we go to London for the performances. So happy about last two days...

We did couple of runs and the result of it was very positive for me. And I think for the others as well. I know now where are the places in choreography where I should save my energy, where I should really go for it. We gathered quite a lot of good feedback from everyone who has seen it so far. Everyone seems to like it and it is nice to hear people’s comments about what they have just seen. Feels like I am more confident every time I do it. Of course there is always a lot of pressure for everyone and there are still some things to be rehearsed but I can easily say that I build my confidence over the last days.

I am happy.
I am ready.
I want to perform it.
I am tired.
My body aches.
I want to do it.
I want to dance it.
I want to sweat it out.
I want to feel how I feel.
I want to do it well.
I want to satisfy myself.
I want to show myself.
I want to show off.
I want to relax.
I want to rest.
I want to enjoy it.
I want a lot from myself.

Janusz - Day Seventeen

The 4th week of work had just started. We slowly began to put things in the right order as it did not really sit well together a few days ago. It is very surprising when we have already begun to think that all we’ve created and put together works quite good. But new questions arise. From day to day. Everyday... Therefore some things needed to be changed, shortened, got rid off.

Music is loud, beautiful and annoying, we all like that. Patrycja and Matt are always trying to make it work. They are trying to find the right notes, melodic lines, which might work better for some of the scenes or movement sequences.
And there it comes a point about movement and dance.
I don’t really know but I found myself doubting about what I am doing right in the middle of working process. Is it something about being in the middle of working process or my worries just appearing without any explanation? I don’t feel fully satisfied with what I am doing. About the way I am doing it. Dance in Test Run is demanding and I want to do it well, right. It just doesn’t always work the way I would like it to work. I demand a lot from myself but there is certain amount of new stuff I can't remember – I always found it very hard although I never really had problems with remembering things.

So how does it all work?

It’s always easier to search for the most comfortable, nice and easy. And today I wanted it to be comfortable, nice and easy. The way I like it the most.
“You can’t always get what you want” (I think someone said it before or maybe even sang that phrase). Well, shame that I could not experience that today. My fault...